046 Advocate for Others in Rooms They Don't Know Even Exist
The Influence Every Day Show with Dr. Ed Tori
influence-046-advocate-for-others-01-audio.mp3
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So it's a Tuesday morning. I pulled up to high school. As I pulled into the parking lot, I noticed my friends were standing at the door that I normally enter through. As I got out of the car, they started all coming towards me. They're like, "Dude! What did you do?!" And I was like, "What are you talking about?
I didn't do anything. What do you mean?" And they're like, "Dr. Jones is waiting for you in your homeroom with the principal. And they've both asked about you. If you were around." And I was like, "What? I didn't do anything. He got mad at me the other day, but I don't think I did anything wrong."
Let me explain. Thursday, the week prior, I happened to have been in my AP English class. We were discussing poetry and preparing for our test the following day, Friday, we were going to have an essay exam. And so on Thursday, we were preparing for it, and we were having a discussion about some of the poems we had read.
Now, I don't remember the poem and I don't remember what she said, but there was a girl in my class who barely ever spoke. She certainly never volunteered to speak in class. She seemed very shy And she finally, she raised her hand. And I remember specifically when the, when Dr.
Jones, his name I've changed when Dr. Jones asked what people thought the meaning of the poem was, she raised her hand. something she never did so it stood out to me So I looked over in shock. She said what she thought that the poem meant and then I looked over Dr.
Jones replied by pounding on the desk, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. And his face was red. I felt horrible! I looked over at her and she started sinking into her chair. Now I raised my hand and butted in, in a way. And I was like, "wait, wait, uh, Dr. Jones, don't you, isn't the point of us reading poetry so that we get the meaning out of it and so that we're moved by it?
And it, it affects our heart and affects our actions and our behavior and our relationships. Isn't that why we read it?" And he said, "Mr. Tori, I expect better answers out of you." And the class kind of ended, the bell rang and I started to walk out. His face was really red and he looked at me upset.
Anyway, I walked out, went to my class, thought nothing of it. The next day, Friday, I show up for the essay exam. As I walked into the class, very publicly, in front of everyone in the class, he said, "Mr. Tori, I gave you an F on your paper." I gave you an F on your paper. Now keep in mind, I'm sitting down to take a test.
I'm also applying for colleges, trying to maintain my high rank in the class I was very conscious of my grades. I had fallen in the rank a bit because of an illness prior, and I was very conscious of where I stood. I sat down to take this test under this sort of, my mind swirling.
And as I started to walk out, I decided, I asked him very publicly, I said, "you know that that wasn't an F. What was it really?" So now as people are walking out of the class, I asked him, what was my grade really? And he said, "it was a B +, but you should be getting A's in my class." I had been in his class twice prior, once in the gifted program and another in another AP English class.
And he said this, "I gave you an F because you should be getting A's in my class." And that was a B+. Now, I went to work that night. And that was a Friday night, busy night at the mall. I worked at a Chick fil A, one of the busiest Chick fil A's on the East Coast. And I was in the working in the mall on a Friday night.
You can imagine how busy it was. And I was the manager. Normally I would be very involved, making sure all the right people are in the right spots. I would, jump in on the cash register if they needed help there. I would jump in on cooking if they needed help there. This night I was so upset.
I went in and I said to everybody on the team, I was like, "Hey guys, just so you know, I'm not in the best mood right now. I'm going to be doing dishes. I'm putting so and so in charge." And I put someone in charge and I went into the back and I started doing the dishes now the dishes by the way there's three huge sinks All attached and the first one is soap and suds and whatever and you know A cleaning mixture.
The second one is like to rinse it off and then The third one is to rinse it off more before you put it on the drying rack. And so I was washing these big iced tea and lemonade containers, which by the way they make fresh and it's awesome, anyway, I was washing these big plastic containers and the way you wash them is like, I was spinning them in the water and slamming them from one sink to the next and slamming them on the drying rack.
And the whole time somebody came up to me, "Ed, what's wrong? What's wrong? I've never seen you like this." And then I told them the story. And I told them, what Dr. Jones had said to me and what the whole scenario was. that's what happened Thursday and Friday. I did not know
that my boss was sitting on a loft where his office was. His office was in a loft above the kitchen. And while he was sitting up there, he overheard my whole conversation where I recounted everything Dr. Jones had said, what he said to the girl in my class, what he said to me about my grade right before I sat down for a test, and what he said when I asked very publicly, what was it really, what was my actual grade?
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[ ***** Do you want Dr. Tori to help you with a sticky problem you've been trying to address? Or do you want coaching on being a more persuasive and impactful communicator? Schedule an influence strategy call: InfluenceConsult.com ***** ]
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My boss, at that Chick fil A, was the franchise owner. They call him owner operator. And they require their owner operators to be active in the community. And he was on the school board, which A, I didn't even really know what a school board was.
B, he took the issue to the school board. And this is why Dr. Jones and my principal were standing waiting for me in the homeroom. He read an apology letter. Now, what does a story have to do with influence or leadership or communication? Here's what it has to do is first, my boss knew my character.
He knew my work ethic. He overheard and thenhe advocated for me in a room that I didn't even know existed. I didn't know what a school board was, what its function was. I didn't know any of that stuff. I didn't even know he was on it.
But he took that issue to the school board. Apparently they investigated on Monday, asked a few people about what they witnessed. And then on Tuesday, they're there issuing me apology and changing my grade. Now, here's the thing. If you work in an environment where you have people who advocate for you in rooms that you don't even know exist, You have a gem.
you have a goldmine. You have a place thatis worth your full attention and energy and effort because it is gold. And so to work in a place like that where you have leaders that advocate for you and for truth and for justice and for good things. When somebody does something remarkable, they remark about it in rooms that others don't even know exist.
That's the type of person you want to work under. If you are a leader or a business owner or an entrepreneur, you want to be that type of person where you will advocate for people who do remarkable things and advocate for their projects, advocate for their efforts, their team.
You advocate for people in rooms they don't even know exist. That's who I want to work with. That's who I want to work around. That's who I want to work under.
Kudos to those of you who are leading and advocating for others in rooms that they don't even know exist.
I'll see you in the next episode.
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[ ***** Do you want Dr. Tori to help you with a sticky problem you've been trying to address? Or do you want coaching on being a more persuasive and impactful communicator? Schedule an influence strategy call: InfluenceConsult.com ***** ]
