Nothing Artificial About AI Improving Our Communication Skills - Episode 021
The Influence Every Day Show with Dr. Tori
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influence-021-AI-to-improve-real-relationships-01-audio
This is Dr. Tori. Welcome to the Influence Every Day show where we make every day better and we influence for good.
There's nothing artificial about using artificial intelligence to improve our real interactions. Let me explain. First of all, I think most of us would probably agree that with the advent of virtual reality, virtual meetings, artificial intelligence, as the world gets more virtual and artificial we're actually going to thirst for and hunger for genuine, sincere, authentic human-human interaction.
We're going to crave deeper rapport and human touch. It only makes sense. However, I _also_ happen to think that we can use the tools of artificial intelligence and other new technologies to improve our human-human interactions. Let me explain five things. Ways that I use artificial intelligence to improve my public speaking to improve my relationships improve leadership and communication skills The first is that I do the normal thing like before I have a public speaking event which most of you know, I do a ton of public speaking by the way, if you want to book me, shameless plug DrTori.com/speaker, but I do a ton of public speaking and in the prep I do the usual thing I have a discovery call with the team that's organizing the event, ask them questions about the audience, about, the challenges, the opportunities before them, maybe some of the sticky problems that the group is facing.
What are the goals and the themes of the event? What would be an amazing outcome afterwards. And so we go through the normal things in a discovery call, but before that discovery call, I prepare using artificial intelligence. Now, how? The first thing I do is I actually create a glossary.
Now, that might sound strange. A glossary, a collection of words about the group that I'm about to speak to. Even if I think I know the group already, right? For example, if I'm going to speak to a particular, a group of school teachers, right? And or college professors or something, right? I happen to teach at Georgetown University.
So when I might think I know the group because I interact with other professors and other teachers and other lecturers. So I might think I, I know that group and what they need, what they want and how I can serve them. And so I could go in there blind. And just say, speak as me, being the authentic me, or I could do a little more research on their language.
So I, what I do is I go into a tool like ChatGPT or other generative AI, and I ask it to create a glossary of terms that the audience uses. So whatever the audience is, if the audience is college professors, public school teachers, palliative care providers, nurse leaders, whatever the thing is, I ask for a glossary of terms.
And I keep saying, give me more, give me more, give me more, until I have a list of 70, 75 words. And I read the definitions and just, I look for nuance, because it may be that I think I know a word, and or how it's used, but I may actually not be using it. Quite the way they do. And that's actually high risk for breaking rapport.
If you use a term in a way that they do not use it, it actually creates an element of disconnect. You can see this. If you ever talked to a teenager and you use, one of the latest slang terms out of context, or in some other way. And so you increase the distance, right?
So what I do is I, I. generate this glossary, read through the terms and make sure that I understand them. If I don't understand them, then I do a slightly deeper dive. And I've been pleasantly surprised at how often I think I know a group. And then when I look at the words they use, I find distinctions that I would have missed.
For example, I'm a physician. I've spoke, when I went to speak to palliative care providers, There were terms that they use in terms of like end of life care and hospice and the full spectrum of palliative care that I was not. Fully aware of. I wasn't aware of how wide that spectrum is.
And so exploring a glossary really helped. So that's one, one thing I use artificial intelligence for is to create a glossary of terms that the audience I'm about to address uses. The second thing I do is. Is I create I or generate a prompt and I ask for the current challenges and opportunities that particular group has.
What are the challenges that they have in their day to day? Okay, so take the example of palliative care providers, right? They have certain challenges that are creeping into their world.
For example, the way they're measured in terms of their productivity have recently started to affect them in a big, big way. I was not aware of that until I asked a generative AI tool like ChatGPT, what are the challenges that they're facing? When you ask about what are the challenges? You get a list of things that, you look through it and review it and see, sometimes you might come back with an artificial intelligence response that just doesn't really match or doesn't jive with, how you perceive it or how they perceive it even, but at least look at the list, at least look Find out because it may be that when you're doing your presentation or your everyday interaction with them, that you can address some of those challenges.
You can help them or serve them with those exact challenges, allude to them, and also by alluding to a challenge that they're facing that's very imminent or very current, you're actually deepening rapport in a big, big way. And so if I allude to, how they're measured in productivity for a palliative care provider if I allude to that in my talk how frustrating it is with, the way we're being measured now and this, that, if I say something like that, it really deepens the connection with the people on the other end.
You ask for a list of challenges and ask for a list of opportunities for the audience that you're about to address. Okay. So that's the second thing. First thing is create a glossary. Second thing, challenges and opportunities. Third thing is objections. I will ask ChatGPT to create a list of objections that audience "A" has to topic "X".
So if I'm about to speak about influence and persuasion, and I'm speaking to school teachers. I will ask ChatGPT, what objections might school teachers have to the topics of persuasion and influence, right?
What are the objections that nurse leaders will have to learning about resilience? You start putting that stuff in and you'll see, oh, they'll say you're not addressing you're asking me to be resilient, but you're not addressing the actual causes of the stress, whether it's staffing or it's workplace violence or some other thing, right?
If you find out what their objections are, you can address them and address them early for any of you who've ever heard me speak on the 7 Simple Rules of Influence or How to Influence Behaviors. Rule number three is to remove objections early. If you don't they just hear this voice in the back of their head.
Like they will not hear a word you say until you address the objection. Now you may address it directly or you may address it indirectly, but either way you have to answer that voice in their head or else they won't hear a word. So why not discover what those objections are by asking a generative AI tool like ChatGPT.
So that's The third thing I do. The fourth thing I do is I ask it for a group of frequently asked questions and should ask questions. Now frequently asked questions, we'd all know what those are. Those are questions that people commonly have about the topic. So give me a list of frequently asked questions that group "A" will have about topic "X".
And then it will give a list of frequently asked questions. Now I ask also, let's pretend this subject is vital for them to learn. "Subject X is vital for group A to learn. What questions should they ask that they might not know to ask?" So those are should ask questions. Then I get a list of those.
And make sure that you just skim them at least and look through and see, am I going to address these? And are any of these important enough for me to address? Okay. So the first thing, glossary. Second thing, current challenges and opportunities. Third thing objections. Fourth thing, frequently asked questions and should ask questions.
Now, the fifth thing is like completely and utterly ninja. If you happen to have taken my course on Rapid Reframes or taken anything in neuro linguistic programming or hypnosis or hypnotherapy or even most types of therapy. If you did, you would have done a deep dive into limiting beliefs.
So the fifth thing that I ask a generative AI tool about is "What are the limiting beliefs that this group might have? And what are the false assumptions that led to those beliefs?" Now, this is really important because one of the most powerful forms of a nugget that people will take away from a talk or an interaction is when you undo a false assumption when you, so first of all, their beliefs are basically false assumptions that they have assumed again and again until it became a belief.
And so if you find out what their false assumptions are, and you understand that limiting beliefs that they have, you can actually really change someone's life. You can completely change the way they see things. And when you do that, you change those things for them in their life.
So super powerful stuff. So these are the five things that I use generative AI for to help me improve my communication, improve my presentation, improve my interactions. So again, just to cover them one more time before I tell you this amazing epiphany I had is One, I ask for a glossary so I can understand the terms.
Two, I ask for current challenges and opportunities. Three, ask for objections that they might have to the topic I'm about to present or the thing I'm about to try to move them towards. Four, I ask about frequently asked questions and should ask questions. And then five, limiting beliefs and the false assumptions that led to them.
When you gather all those, you have a toolbox of amazing. How should I say? Perspective-shifting, life-changing potential, and then your job is simply to formulate it in such a way that it serves them right now.
Let me tell you what happened. That is completely counterintuitive. So I started off by saying, we're gonna thirst for human-human interaction.
And as things get more artificial, more virtual, and I said we can use artificial intelligence to help us improve our human-human interaction. But here's what I didn't know. I didn't know that artificial intelligence might actually improve rapport by itself. So here's what I mean. I created an AI clone of myself.
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And then we learn how to extract the lessons from it, the skills from it. Too often, we're just listening to books or we are reading very short summaries of them, but not actually translating them into skills. So with the influence book club, check it out at influence book club. com. With the Influence Book Club, you get not just, video modules and summaries and, but you get action guides, you get community, you get training on how to translate what these great authors have described and translate it into practical skills.
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OK, so... back to the story... I created an AI clone of myself.
You can see it at DrTori.ai DrTori.ai, if you go to DrTori.com, there's a link from there, but you can see my clone. Now my clone is essentially an. artificial intelligence tool that's been trained on the past 20 years of my talks, frameworks, notes, learnings, et cetera.
Now it doesn't know all the personal stuff about me, and some of the life experiences, except when I exposed some of the stories in my talks, but nonetheless, it's been trained on over 20 years of my content. You can interact with it via chat.
You can interact with it via phone. You can call it. You'll hear my voice. It's of course, AI reproduced voice that is generating a response to you based on my past 20 years of experience and learnings, You can also interact with it in a video form where you see what looks like me. Talking on a screen and answering your questions.
It's obvious that a little bit obvious that it's AI in that it pauses slightly longer than usual for a conversation. If you're talking to my AI clone on the phone, there will be a brief pause when you ask it a question, right? But you can call it and say, "Hey, I'm about to head into this interview.
What kind of tips do you have for me?" "I'm meeting with the CFO of XYZ Corporation. I feel like an imposter because I don't have XYZ degree. What do you recommend?" And then my AI clone will respond to you and give you some tips, probably if it's accurate about managing your state before you walk in and reframing for the sake of, going in with a, how-you-can-help-them lens on the whole thing.
this clone can answer your questions and give you some advice, right? Now here's what I didn't know so first of all, it's cool because it like I've actually used it when I've been coached by Michael, I have a couple of coaches, one of my coaches at one point said, you know what? You sound like you're having a lot of negative self talk.
Why don't you ask your clone? And I was amazed at the response because, sometimes I'm undoing, like I in my own head, I might be having this conversation like, Oh, Oh, you suck. You should have done this. You should have. That answer wasn't complete. You could have served them a little better.
You could have done this better. if I try to undo that on my own, it's one thing, but it's a completely different thing. When I hear my voice and the clone talking to me, there's probably some dysfunction in there. But anyway, here's the thing that I've learned that shocked me. The more people interact with my AI clone, the more they appreciate and the deeper connection they feel when we do meet.
This is this blows my mind, right? So like I'm getting texts from people like, "Oh my God, you just helped me with X, Y, Z. I was about to go have this really difficult conversation with my boss and you helped me with this." I didn't do it. The AI clone did it, right? And so now when they meet me, they're more appreciative of what's occurred.
And this blows my mind. They already feel a deeper connection. It's if I'm on some of the bigger stages I speak at a place 10,000 people and somebody meets me afterwards in the hallway and I give them a decent amount of time to answer their questions or address their concerns, or I follow up afterwards, they feel like, Oh my God this guy's like famous and he's responding to me.
It's like that. There's this sort of celebrity element that, I'm not always comfortable with, but what's really amazing is people are coming forward with a deeper connection to start with _before_ the actual interaction occurs by the use of this AI clone. So again, you can check it out at DrTori.ai.
And by the way, as far as like using artificial intelligence to improve your human interactions for those of you who are inside the influence book club. if you're interested, InfluenceBookClub.com.
Shameless plug. But in the Influence Book Club with each book I give you AI prompts to ask. As you're going to build the skills that we're learning in the books, we cover an influence book. We go over what the skills are, how to implement them, how to practice them. And then we interact in a community, whether it's like accountability partners or challenges that we have where we help each other through the skill building to improve our relationships, improve our interactions, improve our leadership, et cetera.
As we're building those skills, I also include AI prompts so that you can ask the ChatGPT or other generative AI tools, about the skills that you're practicing so that you can refine and tweak and get better. And so yes, we will thirst for authentic, genuine, sincere, human-human interaction and deeper rapport.
Yes, we will, but we can also use the same tools that might seem to create some distance. We can use those same tools to increase the rapport, to increase the connection, to increase the service and influence that we have on others for good. So I hope you found this helpful. I'll see you in the next episode.
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[ ***** PS - Guess what?! Dr. Tori has already distilled all of the best books on influence and communication for you. Learn more here: InfluenceBookClub.com ***** ]
