016 If You Stink At Video... Try Cologne?!
If You Stink At Video... Try Cologne?! (Episode 016)
What if I told you that you could level up your performance in virtual meetings by wearing cologne or perfume?!
This is Dr. Tori. Welcome to another episode of the Influence Every Day podcast. Today I want to talk to you about a study. [Van den Berghe, P. L., & Mace, R. (1987). The influence of fragrance on women's perceptions of men's physical attractiveness and personality. Ethology and Sociobiology, 8(3), 173-186.]
In this study, 200 women were asked to rate men on their attractiveness. The men were rated when they were wearing cologne, and they were rated when they were not wearing cologne. And it turns out that they were rated as more attractive while wearing cologne.
Here's the thing. Those men were on video. The cologne couldn't even be detected by the women.
The men, themselves, were affected by the cologne. Their response to how they felt about themselves made them more attractive.
THE most important rule of influence is to MANAGE YOUR STATE.
Manage your state. So many things that depend on it
- your body language,
- your tone of voice,
- your pace of speech,
- how you establish rapport,
- if you even establish it with somebody,
- your performance at tasks,
- your memory,
- your learning,
- your recall,
- the stories available to you, etc
All of these are state-dependent.
There are lots of things that relate to and make up your state. It's not only mood and emotions.
Are you tired? Do you have to use the bathroom? Is there something that is causing some sort of urgency? Like you have to be somewhere, somewhere? Or did you just leave an argument? You're physiologically still revved up from that argument.
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Want to level-up your performance on video meetings or recordings?
Check this out: Video Influence & Remote Rapport
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1975 WonderBra commercial.
(referred to by my hypnotherapy teacher).
“When you look good, you feel good. And when you feel good, you look great.”
When you look good, you feel good. And when you feel good, you look great. Pay attention to that last part. “When you feel good, you look great.” That essentially sums up this study.
The men were more attractive when they felt better about themselves, and in this case, cologne was the thing that made them feel better about themselves. It reflected in their body language and how they carried themselves.
What will it take for you to feel good about yourself?
Sometimes it's cologne or perfume. Sometimes it's the type of clothes you wear. Sometimes it's what happened in the hour before the thing, right? Sometimes it's whichever way you manage your state.
Too often, though, we're winging it.
Check in with yourself. What is my state now and what will it take for me to be in the optimum state for that thing I'm about to do? And in this case, logging in to a video meeting. If you have to put on perfume, put on cologne, do it. Test it out.
Here's what I've done: I have created a PDF called 101 Ways to Manage Your State and you can download that at DrTori.com/101.
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101 Ways To Manage Your State (PDF): https://www.drtori.com/101
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You can download this PDF and just look at it. There are 101 ways there, but there are thousands more that exist to manage your state. Pick one and try it and see if that helps in your next interaction.
Before you walk into that meeting, before you log into that meeting, before you walk into your home, before you greet your kids or your significant other, before you go in and ask a hard question or have a difficult conversation, try one of these things and see how you do.
Be deliberate about managing your state, especially for things that are important to you.
Go ahead. Download that PDF 101 Ways to Manage Your State (DrTori.com/101). If that one thing doesn't work for you, then try something else. If you've tried meditation and that doesn't work, try something else. If you tried journaling and that doesn't work, try something else. You've tried exercise, you try new things, and if those things aren't for you, try something else.
It's tailored to you and it's up to you.
Pay attention to your state before you go into things. Your state really matters to how the rest of the interaction goes.
It sets the stage, so be deliberate about it
Again: DrTori.com/101. I'll see you in the next episode.
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101 Ways To Manage Your State (PDF): https://www.drtori.com/101
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